Tangan yang Memberi Lebih Baik

I started to think on how to contribute to ummah or to society approximately since 10 years ago. Why? First, I realized that in my life, I did lot of bad things and very few good things. I realized that sooner or later I will die, and there in akhirat, in the judgement day, everything will be asked, will be hisab. There will be only either two; heaven or hell, jannah or jahannam, syurga atau neraka..

And surely, nobody wants to go to hell. Semua orang nak masuk syurga but yet, cukup ke amalan untuk selamatkan diri? Masuk neraka senang, masuk syurga susah (dengan kehendak dan kekuasaan Allah swt). I always think, apa dah cukup ke amalan aku nak bawa masuk syurga??? Macam mana cara nak dapat ganjaran pahala? Biar cepat berganda? Biar selamat dari neraka?

Hidayah Perlu Dicari dan Dipinta

"Hidayah perlu dicari, kena minta (doa), bukan datang menggolek tiba-tiba"

Now, I think that I can relate this statement, better.

As usual, (if u know me 😂), waktu orang berbincang/berdebat, most of the time I keep silent, sometimes I kept silent not because I don't know what they are talking about, but because I know more and everything comes in one time into my head like I don't know where to start.

And sometimes, I kept silent because I was thinking the 'ibrah' behind of things which usually people can't get me easily (or I was very lazy to eloborate 😂)

Ok. Back to hidayah perlu dicari.

Why I said I can relate more? This is because, recently, few days ago, one of my friends told us that,

'Sekarang baru ada ustaz di radio/tv (note: sorry tak sure)  yang bagitahu (to the public) pasal solat yang kita tinggal or tertinggal dulu2 kena qadha balik, sebelum ni tak ada.'

(Note: Sorry dear I used this situation as my example because this is very recent )

When she mentioned that, to be honest, I  was really shock (becaue I heard about that in tv/radio/soc media many times). 

I was thinking, 'is it for real that she never knows about this until our ustaz mentioned?'  (first time she heard that from our ustaz mentioned during our usrah session)

I can't stop thinking. Pity her, and not actually her, but many others. I guess, there are many people who still don't know that they need to qadha those missing solats, other than taubat nasuha. (I know that there are some arguments or khilaf but I chose that kita wajib qadha solat tertinggal)

Hutang wajib dibayar!

Why I said hidayah perlu dicari?

Sorry to say this, saya tahu bahawa solat tertinggal wajib kena qadha since approximately 10 years ago. I already started qadha solat (if any) since that.

Not because I'm 10 years older than my friends, no. But I think, I knew it earlier because I was searching for hidayah 10 years ago.

I was looking for knowledge to improve my ibadah, my relationship with Allah and to improve myself since 10 years ago (and still learning)

And my friend knew about it recently,  because now, she is looking for knowledge and seeking for hidayah.

She got it because she's looking for it. Alhamdulillah. I'm happy for her. She deserves it. No pain, no gain, aite?

Always, better late than never. Do not give up. I really salute people who love learning, searching for knowledge especially ilmu akhirat no matter how old or how young there are. Respek!

Moga Allah terus kurniakan limpah rahmatNya, sentiasa memberi kita hidayah dan mempermudahkan kita dalam urusan menuntut ilmu.

Amin.

Bukan Senang Mahu Senang

Fakta berdasarkan pengalaman hidup sendiri.

1. Kelas corot biasanya pelajar dari keluarga miskin

2. Mak ayah seolah2 tidak faham bahawa pendidikan boleh ubah nasib keluarga.

Dua fakta ni sangat tepat, berdasarkan pengalaman hidup saya sendiri, juga mereka di sekitar saya.

Apa yang Kamu Tahu?

Pada saya, merasa bersalah adalah suatu bentuk hukuman yang sangat berat. Merasa bersalah boleh buat hidup saya jadi tak keruan. Merasa bersalah boleh buat saya berubah tingkah laku. Merasa bersalah boleh buat saya hilang segala fokus. Terasa berat bebanannya. Tak mampu saya tanggung.

Kerana merasa bersalah pernah menipu ustazah bila ditanya pagi tadi ada solat subuh ke tidak, saya akhirnya mula belajar solat subuh. Kerana takut merasa bersalah, saya tak pernah bawa anak-anak saudara saya dalam kereta yang saya pandu keluar jauh dari rumah walau serapat mana pun kami. Kerana berasa bersalah juga, saya sering berendam air mata menadah tangan memohon doa. 

Moga Allah beri jalan keluar. Moga Allah bantu permudahkan urusan. Moga Allah tunjukkan apa yang terbaik.Walau pun merasa bersalah ini berat, namun saya berasa bersyukur kerana dianugerahkan rasa itu. Setidak-tidaknya, selagi saya waras, saya tidak akan sengaja suka-suka menyakitkan orang. Kerana saya tak mahu rasa bersalah. 

Kerana saya tahu betapa azabnya perasaan bersalah itu, saya sering melindungi orang-orang yang saya sayang daripada rasa bersalah atas apa yang mereka lakukan pada saya.

Dengan Izin Allah Swt

3/6/2015

InsyaAllah saya akan ingat tarikh ini.